I drew some comics, extremely badly, a few months ago. They seem appropriate to share given the current political climate in both the straight and the queer world as it relates to bathroom use.
As a person with female anatomy learning to use the mens room has been and remains a terrifying experience. I do not read as male, what would be called “passing.” I do not possess the proper anatomy to make use of a urinal, the pee vessel of choice in the men’s room. As a female bodied person I am unable to defend myself against a male bodied attacker in the restroom. At present, I read as female nearly all the time. As such, my likelihood of being raped is 1 in 5
As a trans masculine person in the women’s restroom I face constant harassment and occasional intervention by mall cop types to prevent me from peeing. Trans masc people have been drug out of the bathroom with their pants down while trying to pee. When I travel, due to my fear of the mens room, I am often waiting in line for the ladies room at airports. I am on high alert waiting for a burly midwestern husband-father to drag me out of line and make a scene, as if I am some kind of pervert trying to pee with his wife and female children.
The fact is, bathrooms are problems for everyone who is not cis normative. Period.
In the queer community, however, the experiences of trans men are erased, downplayed, or assumed to be that of cis-passing trans men. I am told that I am of the men of the world and the queer community “doesnt have time” to highlight or support me in my struggles. The constant refrain of “life is harder for…” and “not all men” is used to silence my experiences.
Don’t believe me? Read this public Facebook post and the comments. Its too triggering for me to read it again, I already spent 2 days with a headache, anxiety attacks, and an hour long conversation with my therapist as a result of the anti transmasc hatred spewed by the queer community in this thread and subsequent reposts of it in various (supposed) trans masculine inclusive groups.
But, its a beautiful day. I have a business to run. And tomorrow I’m running away to a tulip farm and a waterfall hike with my beloved. This headache is really persistent, though.
So, after much pretense, here is my terrible comic about my (sanitized (hah!)) experiences in the restroom and what I go through just to take a wiz.